Contributions to the tribute of GLADYS (MAE) GRACE VINCE

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The family of GLADYS (MAE) GRACE VINCE uploaded a photo

Thursday, September 14, 2017

J

Jeff Vince posted a condolence

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

GOOD MORNING; THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SHARE IN THIS MEMORIAL SERVICE TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF OUR MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER AND GREAT GRANDMOTHER, MAE VINCE.... - For those of you who don't know me, I am Mae's foster daughter Megan; some may know me by my middle name Maxine - I met the family for the first time at All Saints Anglican Church; Dave was lead choir boy; often singing solo at Services; Mae & Harry were immersed as leaders in the Youth Group. I was only 13 y/o and was a "ward of the Children's Aid Society" at that time. Mrs. Vince, as I called her back then, helped get me ready to be confirmed and take my first Communion. At some point, after spending time with them at Church functions, Mr. & Mrs. Vince requested the CAS allow them to take me, as well as 2 or 3 other CAS wards, on outings other than church related ones. Without ever discussing it with me, they petitioned to the CAS to take me into their home as a foster child. For the first time in my life I had a room of my very own; a 'real' family of my own, and the rest, as they say, is history. - Mae waited in earnest for 5 years for her beloved Harry to return from WW 2 so that they could be married, and as soon as they could, they tied the knot. They went on to quickly have their first son Jeff...who never cried and was always such a good boy. After having Jeff, Mom thought, "Well that was easy", so quickly had another son, Dave. Two brothers couldn't be more different; yet in many ways, still alike. - Mom was a stereotypical 50s wife and mother; she enjoyed putting a full course supper on the table when her husband arrived home from work at 5:00 p.m. sharp; but this was only Monday thru Friday; she loved handing over the reigns to the kitchen to her husband on the weekends. Both parents got a kick out of placing a solitary pea hidden somewhere in Jeff's food since he hated peas. He always managed to find it and not have to eat it. Today, we no longer have to hide the peas in his food; Jeff finally grew to like them. - Mae was always very organized; a place for everything, and everything in its place. Being organized, she did her laundry on Mondays; and a different room in the house got a thorough cleaning on its designated day; always leaving the living room & dining room for Friday (just in case company comes by, she would always say); the kitchen was always a daily cleaning as required ... it made sense to me; however, I never did quite catch on to being that organized myself. She would also take one day a week and cook up a storm; then place everything in serving containers and freeze them so that she had enough healthy dinners for the coming week. She continued to do this up until the last 3 or 4 years of her life. Yet another sensible thing that I never got the hang of. - Mom was also very organized in her personal affairs. In 2003 she set up her Will, her Power of Attorney, and also a Living Will. Slowly, she let Jeff take over her financial affairs. Having already taken care of these important personal details has made the last couple of years of decision making that much easier. - More than 4 decades ago, Jeff had been burning the midnight oil while he was attending University; this left little time for a social life. Mom and Linda's sister VI met at the local Legion on Brazier on Saturday afternoons, got to talking, and promptly set about getting Jeff and Linda "hooked up." One Saturday Mom & Vi conspired to bring along Jeff & Linda and have them sit beside each other and things progressed quickly from there. - Sadly, Harry died very suddenly of a heart attack just 2 weeks before Jeff & Linda's wedding. The family decided that the wedding must go on; after all, it was "what Dad would have wanted." She managed to kick up her heels on the dance floor and, under the circumstances, Had as good a time as she could, of course, a little Valium helped get her through that day. And even though we were celebrating a wedding, and all of us were still reeling from Harry's death, all of us kept a watchful eye on Mom. We were all very proud of how she somehow managed to carry herself through that day. - Mom was highly intelligent. She did a lot of reading and she loved to do crossword puzzles; she looked forward to finishing the NY Times crossword puzzle every weekend. She also enjoyed doing jigsaw puzzles; the harder they were the better. The boys and I always looked for the hardest jigsaw puzzle we could find to give her at Christmas time. One year it was a 1000 piece puzzle of nothing but the face of a black cat with orange eyes. And by golly, she had it completed in no time. - Mom got her first computer around the age of 83. She took to it like a duck to water. I believe she went through 3 or 4 computers; always upgrading to new ones with all the bells & whistles. Last year at the age of 91, she was still spending countless hours doing jigsaw puzzles on the computer. Since the time she received her first computer, she would send Jeff an email every night before bed; and Jeff would send her an email every morning. He did this whether he was away on work related business; or away running one of his many Marathons. When I've been away in Arizona during the last three winters, our emails kept us connected; especially since Mom's hearing handicap made phone calls quite frustrating for her. - Mom was the first person I knew of to get a PVR; she loved to watch her special TV shows but hated all the commercials. The first PVR's cost around $1000; but that didn't deter her one little bit. She thought the PVR was the best invention since sliced bread. A few years later, when I finally got a PVR of my own, it was Mom who gave me a crash course on how to use it. - As long as I've known her, Mom always had trouble sleeping. She went to bed every night with a radio on and later, after travelling with a friend, she started using earphones; not wanting to disturb others with the radio. Over the years the radios became more elaborate so that she could tune into talk shows all over North America, possibly even beyond. Because of this, Mom was well informed about world events and could have enlightened conversations on many subjects. - Her husband Harry was a Mason; so it was no surprise that Mom was a dedicated member of the Eastern Star right up until her passing. I will always remember her going to meetings in a long white dress looking like a bride on her way to a wedding. Mom also volunteered at the Manitoba Cancer Society for many years and participated in Good Neighbors and Age & Opportunity functions. Every winter she would knit or crochet up a storm of things that would be donated to various fund raising teas in the East Kildonan neighborhood. - In 1994 some friends of mine, Janet & John picked up Mom at her apt to bring her out to my son's wedding that was being held in Gladstone. Just one block away from her apt, a semi truck came barreling down Henderson Hwy without stopping at the red light and hit them in the back of their van at 60 kph. John saw what was about to happen in his rear view mirror and braced himself; he was badly hurt and suffers back problems to this day. However, Janet and Mom were immersed in chit-chat that only women know how to do and were totally oblivious to what was about to happen. Because they were so relaxed , neither of them was hurt in any way. After making sure John was settled at the hospital, Janet somehow made the effort to drive Mom to Gladstone because Mom was upset about missing the wedding. When she arrived Mom said brightly. â€œBetter late than never." - Mom loved music and dancing...she & Dad would often go to Chan's Moon Room to listen to Ray St Germain sing. She would dance the light fantastic at house parties or wherever there was a dance floor. After Dad's passing, she and I became groupies following Ray St Germain to wherever he & his band would be playing. It helped that I knew Ray's saxophone player, so I always knew in advance where the band would be playing. But after a long work week for me, it would inevitably be Mom who initiated the "Let's go out tonight" phone call. In fact, after leaving my son's wedding in Gladstone, I happened to mention that, because of the wedding, we had missed Ray St Germain's 55th birthday party at the Holiday Inn. She said to me, "we're all dressed up, I'm not tired, and we're going right past the Holiday Inn; let's stop by and have some cake." So we did...and she danced some more. - Speaking of 55th b/days, the family took Mom out on a riverboat cruise for her 55th birthday; afterwards, I made a bold attempt to fire up 55 candles on her cake for her to blow out in one blow so her wish would come true. She pulled all the candles off the cake, counting them; turns out there were 56 candles, not 55. She loved to tease me about making her older than she really was. - Mom particularly enjoyed going to see live entertainment whenever she could...at the Red River Ex, the Manitoba Theater Centre, the Concert Hall, the Convention Centre, or while she was away on trips. With me we shared Harry Belafonte, Liberace, Harry Chapin several times, Wayne Newton, Ray St Germain, Tom Jackson, and countless other entertainers. I know she did the same with Jeff and Dave. She and I also took in a lot of movies together. I remember one very cold Winter Sunday she called and said, let's go to a movie. We decided to go the movie theatre that used to be at the Convention Theatre because there was underground parking and the theatre had comfortable seating. It turns out there were 3 movies playing back to back...Fried Green Tomatoes, City of Joy, and A Few Good Men...needless to say, we could barely stand up after sitting so long and we were all movied out for quite some time after that. - She loved travelling; but was always a little apprehensive because of her poor sleeping habits. She & Harry looked forward to the trip of their dreams to Britain; a trip that was planned in 1972 upon Harry's retirement. That trip was cancelled because of Harry's sudden death just shortly before he was to retire. It was a few years before Mom was up to going to Britain on her own; but she did go so that she could meet up with Harry's relatives who lived there. She wasn't the least impressed with her trip to Hawaii; probably because it rained the entire time she was there; and she never did go back again. - Her road trips with Jeff & Dave were some of her fondest memories. She loved the fact that Jeff took her to the 1984 Grey Cup in Edmonton; that year the Bombers won the Cup. They encountered car trouble on their way back to Wpg, but that didn't dampen her spirits since she was still ecstatic about the Bombers winning the Grey Cup. She was always a huge Bombers supporter...well, until recently that is there's no need to say anything more about THAT now, is there! - Jeff took Mom with him in 2006 when he went out West to run a Marathon in Red Deer. She loved travelling through the Rocky Mountains; she took a liking to Moose Jaw; where she went a couple of times so that she could take advantage of the Rest & Relaxation at the Mineral Spa. - Mom had many stories to tell. She often told me that Jeff tried hard at sports when he was much younger; but because he was shorter than most team players, he was always overlooked when picking a team. Mom always worried about Jeff when he took up running Marathons with a vengeance. She always told Jeff that he didn't have to run so hard; that he had more than proved himself. Harry had died young from a major heart attack...so she worried constantly about Jeff. Even after Jeff getting a clean bill of heart health, Mom still worried. One of the last big smile Jeff saw on Mom's face was when he was installed into the Manitoba Runners Association Hall of Fame. - On the day Jeff was leaving with Mom to go to a marathon in Fargo, they got word that Ryan's wife was about to give birth to Mom's great grandson and Jeff's grandson, Logan. Before they would leave Wpg, they went straight to the hospital and got to hold Logan in their arms when he was only minutes old. Because it meant so much to her, she was still telling the story of not leaving Wpg until she got to see Logan first right up until the day she died. Logan is now 7 years old. - When Jeff retired, he took on more of a role as Mom's Caregiver. It soon became a ritual of taking her out on Friday afternoons to run errands and do her grocery shopping. They would return to her apt and both of them would enjoy some leisurely conversation and have a beer together. This went on for a few years before it became evident that Mom was too wobbly on her feet and required a shopping cart to hold her steady. Jeff started to run her errands and do her grocery shopping on his own; but the ritual of sitting, enjoying a beer with Mom carried on. And they carried on this ritual every Friday even after she moved into Middlechurch. It was the highlight of Mom's week. They enjoyed their beer & wine in the center courtyard on Jeff's last visit just prior to leaving for yet another marathon in Berlin. Little did Jeff know that they would say their final goodbyes that day? Mom passed away the day before Jeff ran the Berlin marathon. Jeff felt Mom with him as he ran; and for the first time slowed down about half way through the Marathon to take pictures and to listen to the many bands playing along the route. - I remember taking Mom out for supper at a restaurant the summer she turned 80. Something was wrong with what she had ordered and she tore a strip off the waitress. I happened to comment that she 'might' be over reacting. She proudly announced "I'm 80 years old; I can say whatever I want, to anyone I want; I do not have to bite my tongue any longer." All I could say to that was... "Well Golly-G, I can't wait till I turn 80." - Four years ago Jeff's house burned to the ground in the middle of the night; they lost absolutely everything they owned. It was pure good luck that Jeff, Linda, Kim, and Russ got out with their lives intact. Jeff stayed at Mom's apt, sleeping in the living room on the sofa bed for the few weeks leading up to finding a house that they could rent. They slowly put their lives back together and rebuilt a house at The Acre (as it is affectionately known by the family). Now, as anyone who knows Jeff, he is one of the easiest going human beings on the planet , most of the time...but, living back with his mother when he was a man in his 60s wasn't exactly a piece of cake. Talk about a man being truly tested. But, he persevered under traumatic circumstances, and remained, as Dave and I like to think, Mom's favourite. - And, as if the fire was not enough of a tragedy, and you blindly walk around thinking it couldn't possibly get worse...you find out that, indeed, it can get much worse. A year after the fire, Jeff and Linda's eldest child, Ryan, died suddenly. He was only 36 years old; his son Logan, only 3 years old at the time. - I believe in my heart that these two events were the catalysts to Mom's declining health. In November of 2010 she had her first of several falls that took her into hospital care. Mom was fortunate to have Home Care come to her apt to help her with many tasks. Every day these wonderful Care Givers allowed Mom to stay in her home until she was mentally ready for a personal care home. The family are extremely grateful to Lillian McDougall; also a resident at Serena Towers where Mom lived for several decades, for her many acts of kindness toward our Mother. She brought Mom's mail to her every day and would pop in for a little chat. Mom always looked forward to Lillian's visits. - Even after several falls, Mom refused to use her walker. The home care workers and all the family warned her she should be using her walker at all times. We found out she was experiencing mini strokes this would result in severe personality changes...she often over reacted, became belligerent, was less patient, and would get positively panic stricken at times. The discussion of moving her to Assisted Living came up two years ago; but after placing her name on a waiting list, she would call, behind our backs, and have her name taken off the list. Did I mention she could, at times, be very stubborn? And was very strong willed?! After a mini stroke, her mind just wasn't the same...sometimes this would last a few weeks; sometimes a couple of months. It was because of a fall in her apt, probably brought on because of a mini stroke that she ended up in hospital last November. The two home care supervisors and Jeff decided that Mom could not return to her home. It was time; and two days later she became a resident at Middlechurch Personal Care Home. - Amazingly, Mom took the move to Middlechurch in her stride. Her Mom had lived and died at Middlechurch; so Mom accepted this decision gracefully. Like Jeff, Dave and I, she recognized and accepted that she was in a safe and secure environment; and had round the clock care. And she always did like being fussed over. ** (If Brian is there)...mention his sending birthday and Christmas cards to Mae for almost 30 years. She so looked forward to his cards and kept every one of them. They were always funny; and the envelopes and the inside of the cards were full of cute stickers. She often wondered what the postman thought when delivering these interesting envelopes to her. *** Linda Vince will now come up and do a reading from the Bible. - Thank you Linda. -The last two weeks of Mom's life were remarkable. To anyone else looking in, they wouldn't notice, but to us, her family, they were amazing. - The most remarkable thing was that Mom was so calm; so very peaceful...this after a summer of unbelievable chaos. There were times this summer when nothing could allay her fears and her panic. There was one day during her last 2 weeks, when I was visiting her with my little dog, as usual, when Dave and Nancy arrived and they had brought a little dog with them, as well. Mom was as calm as could be; happily making conversation. On Friday, Sept 20 Jeff and I visited with her in the Middlechurch Pub Room where Jeff could enjoy having a beer and Mom and I enjoyed a glass of wine. We conversed easily, with no sign whatsoever that Mom was alarmed about Jeff leaving the following Wed for Berlin to run a marathon. When we returned to her room I got a strange "What If' feeling, but decided not to talk about it with Jeff while at Middlechurch, but rather send off an email when I got home. Jeff, Dave, and I dealt with the "What If" email and let it go. I made a point of being with Mom for two reasons the following Wed. It was Sept 25th and would have been Ryan's 40th birthday and Jeff was on his way to Berlin. Previous experience with Mom, at times when Jeff had to go out of town, whether it was for work or to run marathons, always put Mom into really severe anxiety, and sometimes, panic attacks. But Mom was as calm as could be; showing me and other residents, on her calendar where Jeff was at this time; where he would be tomorrow, and the day afterward. As always, at the end of my visit, I wheeled her down to the dining room to have her supper tied her bib on, gave her a kiss, a goodbye hug and told her I would see her for sure on the weekend (knowing that the weekend was the anniversary of Harry's death) I told her I would come, if possible, even sooner. I never left Mom without telling her I loved her. - Now, those of us who have known Mom for a very long time know she's never been very demonstrative with her feelings of affection. As I walked away from her dining table she called out to me, "Megan, I love you, too." And as I cleared the dining room door I heard her say to the others at the table, "that's my foster daughter; she's always been so good to me." Instead of leaving immediately, I had to go sit down in her room because I started shaking and weeping. Her last words will remain with me forever - I am most grateful for three things. First, that I made the decision not to go to Calgary, but to stay in Manitoba this Summer so that I could spend as much time with Mom as possible. Secondly, I'm grateful for answered prayer. In my heart I wanted two things...for Mom not to suffer...and for me to be here when this time came. Mom arrived at the end of her rainbow exactly as she wanted to; peacefully and with dignity. And lastly, I will be forever grateful that my last words to her were "I love you Mom."

M

Megan MacBride lit a candle

Thursday, October 10, 2013

This candle is lit in your memory. You have been my "Mom" forever. You are missed and truly loved. Sweet Rest!

J

Jeff lit a candle

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Take care Mom.

GLADYS (MAE) GRACE VINCE

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Plant a tree in memory of GLADYS

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